


Cliché

by Zhie



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Bunniverse, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 19:53:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8766763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zhie/pseuds/Zhie
Summary: Lazy discussion, a book resurfaces, and a battle of words.





	

**Author's Note:**

> 1) This is a writing exercise - the sentence I was given was "I know it sounds cliché, but I realized I was gay when..."
> 
> 2) Written between May 30 and December 5, 2016.
> 
> 3) Part of the 'Private Reserve' collection of the Bunniverse... stuff I only really write for myself and (perhaps sadly) don't care if it makes sense to anyone else - but hey, it's written, I like sharing, so here it is.
> 
> 4) This connects back to the story "We're Having a Heatwave": https://archiveofourown.org/works/6946474.

It was a cool spring day. While there were several places in the Cottage of Lost Play that were suitable for sitting and conversing, none were as casual and intimate as the nest that Fingon had created under the loft bed that he had claimed when they had moved in years ago. 

The three remaining inhabitants of the cottage were lounged in the comfort of cushions and pillows piled on the floor, curtains draping down from the frame of the loft. They left one of them pulled to the side to let some light in. Fingon lazily played with the curtain that hung to the floor. He was propped against Glorfindel's chest, his other hand holding a nearly empty bottle of wine they had been sharing. His legs, along with Glorfindel's, were draped over Erestor's legs. Erestor alternated between massaging whichever foot happened to be closest to his free hand. His other was occupied with a book, which he seemed to have mostly forgotten.

"Is that the book with the pictures?" asked Glorfindel when Erestor nearly dropped the small volume.

"It has pictures," he confirmed, and missed Glorfindel's lunge forward until he was no longer in possession of the book. 

Glorfindel opened it to a random page. "Oh, this is the book." Glorfindel lowered the book so that he could show Fingon what was in it. "He was reading this one day when there was a hot spell in Rivendell."

"Those are some very detailed illustrations," remarked Fingon, who took hold of the book after he set the bottle aside and flipped through it. "Wait... are these all men?" He looked over the book at Erestor. “These are men… very nicely painted and well-endowed men, if I do say so myself.”

"I was doing research," he replied quickly.

"I see. Did you ever apply anything you learned? Because as a gymnast, I have to tell you, I do not know if even I could execute these positions successfully."

"That is why it is called 'Follies and Fantasies'," explained Erestor.

"Ah." Fingon started at the beginning and slowly paged through. "Interesting."

"I think we could do that," said Glorfindel, who pointed at one of the images.

Fingon twisted his neck to look up at Glorfindel. "Who gets to be in the middle?"

"I was hoping I would have the honor," he said as he leaned down and nuzzled Fingon's shoulder.

"I have a query you are not required to divulge the answer to." Fingon looked back at the book. "When did you figure out you were more interested in men than women?"

"I think I was just born this way."

"We were all born this way, dear." Fingon turned to the next page and gave a low whistle. "We just get so inundated with the 'boy plus girl equals normal' equation, that I wondered when you had your epiphany."

"I really think I fit into a different category from you and Erestor, though," Glorfindel said hesitantly. 

"You like everybody? Just, men more than woman?" 

"No, I like men. I just think I was supposed to be born a girl instead of a boy. I know that sounds silly," Glorfindel immediately added. "It was just something that popped into my head when I was younger. I liked flowers and dresses and lot of girl things. I guess that sounds silly, right?"

"Who says it is silly? Fuck them." Fingon twisted his head again to look up at Glorfindel. "Look at me, Glorfindel. I wear more makeup than any lady I know. I spend more time on my hair than most of them, too. Here is the thing - do you like having a penis?"

Glorfindel squirmed a little. "Yes..."

"Do you want breasts? I mean, a really pronounced bosom?"

"Not really," Glorfindel immediately answered.

"You just like flowing silk, and soft hair, and being feminine, and looking lovely, then, right?"

Glorfindel shrugged. "I guess so."

"Then why do you wear pants so much?"

Glorfindel looked at the floor.

"I think we need to buy a dress for you next time we are in Tirion.”

“No,” Glorfindel said immediately, tensing up. “I do not want anyone else to know.”

“See, I stopped giving a fuck about what other people think,” said Fingon. “I used to care - a lot - about things, but now, if I want to look pretty and walk down the street, I just do it. Fuck th--- ooooh. Hmmm. That one is impossible,” he opined, and he held the book up both ways to show what he was looking at.

“Not all of us can be brave and valiant about everything we do,” answered Glorfindel.

Fingon grimaced. “I suppose I can understand why you keep this to yourself. But, what about here? I do not care - Erestor, do you care if Glorfindel wears a dress?”

“I already offered several times to have one made for him,” Erestor explained.

“What if we make it?” Fingon suggested.

Glorfindel turned his head away from them to contemplate. “Maybe,” he finally said.

Fingon poked Erestor's leg with his toes. "Can I ask you something?"

"You already did."

"You are so difficult." Fingon sighed with a smile on his lips. "I was going to ask you if you were the one who approached Feanor or if he approached you. Back in the day.” He looked back over the book and spoke again before Erestor could answer. “You know that Maedhros and I sort of knew, right?"

The smirk faded from Erestor's lips. "No one was supposed to know about it."

"Well... Maedhros brought it up to me one day, and then he and I used to talk about it. So one day Maedhros just asked his father, and--"

"You have to be joking." Erestor groaned when Fingon shook his head. "So much for oaths," he grumbled.

Fingon shrugged. "Sorry. He only told Maedhros, though, and he made Maedhros promise not to tell anyone, but, of course he told me. I never said anything about it until now." He twirled Glorfindel's hair around his fingers and stopped speaking until prodded by Erestor.

"What was your question?" Erestor asked.

"I wanted to know if you courted him or if it was the other way around."

Erestor frowned and looked away for a moment. "Things were not like that then."

"So it was sort of mutual?"

"Something like that." Erestor still refused to make eye contact. "It just happened one day. I was told later that it was my fault, but we just..." Erestor rubbed his nose and sniffled.

Fingon stretched forward and reached out with his free hand to rub Erestor’s shoulder. “Sorry.”

Erestor shook his head, but wrapped his arms around his chest and remained distant.

“I hate having a penis.” Fingon settled back and stretched his neck to the side until a crack could be heard. Erestor was giving him an uncertain look, and Glorfindel furrowed his brow in thought of how to answer Fingon’s comment.

“Do… you… want to be female?” Erestor asked carefully.

“Nope. I just want to be pretty, and a penis is just about the ugliest thing I have ever seen. Then again, vaginas are disgusting, too. Leaky and stinky. At least with a penis, it just sometimes smells bad.” Fingon continued to flip through the book, and paused to shake his head at one of the images. “Actually, I hate genders, in general. I wish we were all just the same, without things dangling between our legs or gaping holes that regularly bleed.”

“That is an interesting prospect,” said Glorfindel. “I never really thought about that as an option.”

“Perfect solution to so many things. Clearly, Eru should have consulted with me before he started making things.” Fingon held up the book. “We can do this, but it would be awfully messy.” Glorfindel nodded in agreement.

“Time to cut to the chase and ask the burning question,” said Erestor. “When did you realize what your preferences are?”

“Well, this is going to sound cliché,” said Fingon as he set the book down, “but I figured out I was gay after most of the people closest to me already knew.”

“How exactly did that work?” asked Glorfindel.

“I am sure you are familiar with the expression ‘takes one to know one’ - well, as it turns out, it is not all that uncommon for birds of a feather to flock together, and as luck would have it, several other gymnasts I competed with were also just like me. I just had not quite found myself at that point,” explained Fingon. “After one of the larger competitions, I was invited to a little gathering at the dorm of one of the competitors. I was a little uncertain about going, but he seemed nice enough - and he was cute - so I went. There were eleven of us - I guess he intended that there were supposed to be an even number, because he was a little fussy about that. Anyhow, we sat around for awhile and talked and drank, and then when one of the bottles of wine was empty, we played Spin the Bottle. The young man who finished off the bottle - he was cute, too - he just started the game, and he ended up kissing the one sitting next to me. I must have looked shocked, because he laughed and said something to the host like ‘I thought you told me he was into it?’ and the host came over and said ‘Of course he is’ as he plopped down into my lap and kissed me.”

“Interesting… and what ever happened to this charming young man?” asked Glorfindel. He was grinning, while Erestor looked slightly… jealous.

“The two cute ones ended up establishing their own gym after they finished their competitive years. The one who hosted--”

“The one who kissed you,” interrupted Erestor.

“Right, that one -- he did really well. He even won the championship for vault three years in a row - five times altogether. The other one retired early. He fell from the bars and ended up with a limp for quite some time. As far as I know, they are still together, running that gym.”

“As long as we are discussing gymnastics…” Glorfindel picked up the book and turned to one of the more interesting illustrations. “How many of these do you think we can try?”

“I really think this book is complete fantasy. That said, I would wager I could make three or four of them work. I am doubtful they will have the desired outcome - when you have to put that much thought and preparation into lining things up, it seems to take all the fun out of it."

“I have a better idea.” Erestor retrieved the mostly empty bottle and drank the rest of the wine. “How about a little game?” he suggested.

Fingon wriggled to sit up on Glorfindel’s lap. “How will you decide who wins? Glorfindel and I are right on top of each other, so the bottle will point to both of us.”

“I know.” Erestor smiled and rolled the neck of the bottle between his fingers. “This is perfect for me. I win every time.”

“I think you should just join us over on this side and call it a draw,” suggested Glorfindel.

“A-ha!” Fingon suddenly grabbed the book and flipped through it. “I figured it out!” he said triumphantly as he showed his companions one of the images he had previously declared impossible. “The person in the middle starts, and they start---”

“--sitting down,” he finished along with Glorfindel. “Then they stand up,” finished Glorfindel.

“Oh… that makes sense now,” agreed Erestor.

Fingon looked back and forth between them. “Want to try it?” he asked.

“Nothing ventured, nothing gained,” said Glorfindel.

Erestor chewed his lip. “Alright,” he finally agreed. 

“But…?” prodded Fingon.

Erestor’s cheeks began to glow. “I, uhm… I sort of fancy being the one in the middle on that,” he admitted.

“Done.” Fingon snapped the book shut and set it aside so that he could climb out of the nest. “As they say, the squeaky wheel gets the oil.”

“No one says that,” countered Erestor as he, too, left the alcove, presumably to follow Fingon to the bedroom. He was still holding the bottle when Fingon pinned him against the wall.

“I just did,” he crooned. “Besides, it sounded a whole lot better than the one in the middle gets a sore ass from the amount of attention he is going to get inside said ass this evening.”

“Yes, fine, but it should be the squeaky wheel gets the grease.”

“Well, if you wanted me to use grease instead of oil, all you needed to do was ask.” Fingon smiled sweetly as Erestor shook his head at him. 

A moment later, and Glorfindel was beside them, noticed the bottle, and pushed it so that it pointed at Erestor. “Lucky me, lucky you,” he said, and leaned in to kiss Erestor’s pouting lips.

Fingon grinned and let go of Erestor so that he could pull Glorfindel aside, breaking them apart mid-kiss. He whispered something gleefully to Glorfindel, who chuckled and nodded.

“What? What are you plotting?” Erestor crossed his arms over his chest, bottle still in one hand.

“Ah, he believes we are thick as thieves,” said Fingon as he slung an arm around Glorfindel.

“Like two peas in a pod,” agreed Glorfindel.

“Oh, fuck no. This is not sexy. I know what you are doing,” scolded Erestor. “Stop it.”

“Someone sounds like he got up on the wrong side of the bed,” said Fingon.

“For what it’s worth, I do not think he is really all that bent out of shape,” Glorfindel replied. “Besides, his bark is worse than his bite.”

“Oh, well-played,” commended Fingon. Glorfindel bowed.

“Are you two done?” Erestor sized them both up, and then said, “A word to the wise - it might seem all fun and games, but I have a way with words, and your attempts are a far cry from my abilities, and indeed, I think you both bit off more than you can chew, because blind ambition has caused you to overlook the obvious, and though this may burst your bubble, by hook or by crook, I will make the best of a bad situation and put my best foot forward, so unless we are talking tongue-in-cheek about someone being fit to be tied, bending over backwards, or being too hot to handle, then we cease and desist this nonsense now.”

“Sweet mercy, I love it when he talks dirty to us,” declared Fingon.

Glorfindel burst out laughing. “You are something else,” he told Erestor. “Now, about bending someone over backwards…”

“Yes,” said Erestor. “Past the clichés, and right to that.”

“I should go get the oil,” said Fingon. He started past Erestor, but stepped back to add, “All’s well that ends well!” before receiving a swat to his rear as he chuckled and left the room.

**Author's Note:**

> PS - I don't think that the Erestor/Fingon | Findekáno/Glorfindel relationship was in the drop down the other day when I added Grapefruit to my story list, and now it is, and that makes me happy and also motivated to add more of the things I have on these three and I should finish the one I have up on my computer right now because reasons.
> 
> PPS - I was thinking this morning about those combo name things people do for relationships, and I think that this trio would be best described as Finesse (because it would be Fin + Es, but like there's two Fins but Finfinesse is like something a fish would have, but just Fin+es is Fines, which is like something libraryish but not sexy or cute, so let's just all agree that Finesse is better and go with it.) Besides, with all that great hair, how could there not be some Finesse going on?


End file.
